You Need a New Pair of COMFORTABLE Shoes

Some things are certain in life. You will Live. You will Die. You will pay Taxes, and High heels, no matter how expensive they are will hurt! While this is an easy mantra to understand, walk with me into the metaphor.

Men are like shoes. Yes, that's right. You have your sturdy trainers, your worn-in flip flops, old sneeks with holes, and fancy heels that give you the worst blisters. Well after opening my closet door, I've noticed that I have an abundance of high heels. I have heels that make you looked like hell on wheels, heels that will make you eat your heart out, heels that make you scream and shout in pain after after step you take in them. So what does this mean?

It's obvious that the men that I've been dealing with have been more on the high heel side of things. Instead of having blisters on my feet, I'm having pain in my heart. The thing is, CBE and Jacob, while like heels, make you happy and make you feel fabulous when you put them on, by the end of the night you're just dying to get out of them and wondering what the hell ever possessed you to put these wretched things on your feet in the first place. And like heels, you know that they are going to give you blisters and leave you in pain the next day. So why do I do it? For a multitude of reasons I suppose? I feel great in them for the first hour or so, and by the end I'm sick of them, and that's how I feel about CBE and Jacob. I'm sick of them and their B.S.! I'm sick of feeling great when we hangout in the evening and the next day I wake up feeling blistered and hurt by them! It's obvious that I need to get a new pair of shoes!

After an emergency phone call to my go to girl SP, I asked her if I had legit reasons to be mad at these two boys. First, being that after talking to CBE yesterday, we had a fight because once again, I was left feeling hurt. After 45 minutes of getting no where on the phone with him and his failure to understand that, he tells me he's just going to get off the phone, and leaves me crying. I'm sorry what kind of man are you? Leaving a girl you care about crying? I called today to apologize and wish him well, and he still didn't get back to me. And the next situation is with Jacob, and while I understand he is busy with his life and all, I want to thank him for taking the time to update his status that he was a the baseball game, having a great time and eating chili, while I'm stuck at home sick. I know you got my texts today...you could have at least texted me back and asked how I was feeling, or is that too much to ask from the man who's signature line is, " I'm the type of guy who wants distance in a relationship". After making sure I had legit reasons to be mad, SP gave me the cold harsh truth that I've needed. She said, " Dude, you've been unhappy for 2 years. That's a pretty long time for someone to be unhappy. You need to go out and find someone that really honestly cares enough to want to be with you." Then the tag line came, "You need to find a new pair of comfortable shoes." she said. After we hung up, I proceeded to places signs all around my house, instructing me not to under any circumstance, call either of these men. While I hope my new found sharpie campaign holds up,one thing is for sure, that after my conversation with SP I went online and looked for a new pair of shoes. And what I found was amazing. I've decided that I'm not settling for old, used, hole-y shoes, and it's time to put away the high pumps too. I found a miraculous pair of sexy, wedged, knee high boots. So, while it is true that maybe shoes are a lot easier to find than men, at least now I have a hot pair of comfortable shoes that won't leave my in pain the next day. Who knows maybe I'll find a guy to match!